Monday, March 30, 2020

Coming Together In Quarantine - Or - We're Going To Be Quaran-fine



This whole new world is fascinating to me. It's also scary and stressful and anxiety is running right on that dangerous line, but man it has been such a wonder to listen and learn. I've also done all of this connecting without Facebook or Instagram, as they were really depressing me for a little while.

I have wanted to write something since all of this started, mostly to process myself, but also to reach out and connect with whoever might want to read my ramblings... so with my mom, I guess.

So far two things from this whole new world have really struck me as wonderful - 

1 - Nobody knows what "best" means right now, so doing our best just has to work. 

Besides certain leaders who insist on pretending they know what's going on, even our best medical professionals are saying, look, we're learning as we go, all we can do is our best, so hold on and help each other. 

This goes with folks who are suddenly full time employees and home-school teachers. This is a restaurant owner who is still doing take out and delivery, not to make a few extra bucks, but to keep some people employed. This is a distillery, two weeks ahead of a national launch, changing their entire model to make hand sanitizer. This is my brother in law working 13 hour days as a Nurse manager, just to check in on both of his staff's and keep things going as smooth as possible. 

There's a lot of freedom in knowing we don't have to be perfect. (This might be a "no shit" moment for some of you, but it is really hard for some of us, even if our perfect just looks pretty okay... like my former covid-beard). The hardest part is accepting where we are and rolling with the new punches. Once we get there though, the amount of grace, patience and acceptance just skyrockets. These are, hopefully obviously, such better characteristics to lead with than perfection, pressure and stress.

I generally try not to lead from these characteristics, I think most of us try, but it's really easy to see when we're not at our best when we are sitting in these things alone. That's where the self-assurance and grace comes in. I haven't been very good at this lately and I've let the anxiety win too many times, but that's why I've been writing this for the better part of a week... I'm just trying my best. We aren't in ideal situations, so it should be easier to forgive ourselves for not being ideal, but we're a species of people who aren't classically very good at forgiving ourselves or other, which is why point 2 is so amazing.

2 - People who can't come near each other are getting closer!

Every day I've been trying to reach out to at least one new person. Not a stranger or anything, though that sounds fun, but someone I haven't chatted with in a while or someone I might normally see casually, but won't have that opportunity. People are singing songs together on balconies. Virtual happy hours are all the rage. Technology is bringing people together who might not have considered using technology a month ago.

There are really positive and creative things happening to help support people all around. From fund raisers and benefits for those out of work to musicians playing daily or weekly concerts on their websites or YouTube. Ben Gibbard, from Death Cab for Cutie, has done a daily concert for the last two weeks and it's fantastic (here's my favorite). Tens of thousands of people are watching and he's using the platform to share news and benefit information.

This morning I learned that John Krasinski started a YouTube news show called Some Good News, where he's only sharing the positive things happening in the world. Because yes, we're surrounded by a whole lot of scary, frustrating and unsettling shit, but we're also all in this shit together. I have no idea how he didn't full on cry during half of it... the whole show makes the air so dusty and your eyes so itchy.

Life is never easy, but so many of us are realizing how lucky we are or how much worse it could be. I'm one of the lucky ones. Through and through. I have lost income. I have anxiety. I have family I'm scared for. I have colleagues who are struggling to balance. I have family downstairs while I work all day transitioning between doing their best and trying not to murder each other, because it's hard.

This is all hard and we're still the lucky ones. We have technology that brings us together. We have stores that are still open. Maybe you don't currently have a job. Maybe you're currently struggling, but if you are able to read this and think about it, you're luckier than most and throughout it all I hope you know you have me.

I don't know how many people are even still reading right now, but if you are I'd love to hear from you. I'd love to hear your struggles and the good things that are happening. I'd love to do a video chat or a call or text check in. I have food to share. I have heart to give and to be honest, it's one of the only thing that's making me feel better throughout all of this.

I've been struggling with the unknown, like most of us, but I know the things that have made me feel better are these connections. Little things go so far. I would love for people to share the good stories they have heard, either email them to me (chewthomasr@gmail.com) comment here, or send me a text or call me and tell me about it. If you are still on Facebook or Instagram or, I don't know, Tik Tok (I hear that's a thing I don't understand), put something on your page that is wholly good and positive. Shoot someone a message you haven't talked to in forever. It doesn't need to be me, but reach out!

Let's be intentional and use this time apart to come closer together. Let's share the good stories and support our most at need any way we can, even if that's a kind word or a hello. It could be a random $10 Venmo to a friend who is out of work or a nurse who is working 60+ hours each week. Thank you for reading this and being a part of my life. I can't wait to see you and give you a hug, but until then, I can't wait to see your name on a screen and say hello.